The Serenity Prayer

“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”

(The Serenity Prayer, adapted by Reinhold Niebuhr).

My grandmother has this prayer hand-stitched and framed on the wall of her cozy, warm family room. I remember reading these empowering words on several occasions throughout my childhood. I recall one particular day as a young girl going through a rough time and visiting my grandma. As I read the words, a tangible warmth overcame me and I began to understand what the prayer meant. Even now, I am gaining a deeper understanding of this message every day through new experiences and a new perspective.

Stephen R. Covey describes the message of this prayer in a different way in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as our ‘Circle of Influence’ and our ‘Circle of Concern.’

“Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

“Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive” (from www.stephencovey.com).

I have realized I have done everything in my ‘Circle of Influence’ and now I am beginning to expend my energies to a ‘Circle of Concern.’ I have no control over the situation; it is not my problem. The hard part is: it doesn’t change the fact that I care! I care so deeply that it tears my heart apart!

I can find peace in knowing I did all in my power to help my friend. Even more peace can come from stepping back into my ‘Circle of Influence’ where I have control over how I will respond to the circumstances and situation. And the most peace will come from turning to the Savior.

Where Can I Turn For Peace?

So the remedy is here. I know a principle, and now it is time to apply it! “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Naomi (yes, I know I am writing to myself in third person), people have agency. God will grant unto them their desires whether it is unto life or unto death. It reminds me of being a missionary in Hong Kong. You love and care about your investigators. You are deeply concerned with the welfare of their souls! And in the end, it is up to them to decide their path, and you sit back and watch. Will it still hurt? Yes, but we must move on and allow them to choose. God does the same with us. I don’t know what it feels like to be a parent of a wayward child, but I feel like I have gotten a little taste of what it is like.

I wish I could grab this person, shake this person, and help this person see what is happening because I care about this person beyond belief! BUT, I realized that I had been spending so much of my thought and energy on things that were not within my control.

This experience has helped me more to understand God. He has given us one of the greatest gifts: the freedom to choose - agency. It is no wonder that the greatest gift we can give Him is our will. Sacrificing our desires and goals to align with God’s is what this journey is about. Let us find out what our true potential is – the way God sees us. He is the most trustworthy being in the universe. Put your trust in Him. Let go of your personal desires and turn your desires into His. Don't care about what other travelers think. Do what you need to do to be on the right terms with God.

Now is the time for us to ponder. Where are you expending your energy? Are you worrying too much about things not within your control? Decisions of others, weather, illnesses of loved ones, etc.?  How can we become more like God? Take some time and do a self-evaluation. I look forward to your comments. :)

And remember: Live. Laugh. Love.